Sunday, February 20, 2011

Look what I did today!

I am off this week from school! Yay for February vacation! But, I have a load of essays to grade....ugh. I am going to try to get a few done a day before I head off to NYC to visit friends on Thursday. BUT, I also hope to get some home improvement jobs done before the week is through! Basically, the week is project light/electricity week!

These photos are from my iPhone and prob will update with real photos soon! But, I was so excited, I had to share!

First, I had to replace the fixture in my kitchen because the glass globe had fallen down one night after I *thought* I had screwed it back on properly. Oops! The second is one that I put over my dining table because there was a chandelier there that always looks too large and banged people in the head---poor form for hosting any gatherings!

Both lights are from Lowe's and total, the two lights came to be $118.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Some tales from dating....

Over the last two single years, I've done a little dating (well, a lot...)

Here's how it's gone.....

1. The first actual date I went on after my breakup was just okay. The guy was nice and sweet, but not for me---mainly because he wasn't my exhusband. I cried the whole drive home, so much so that I could barely see the road. In hindsight, I should've pulled over.

2. I went out with another guy on two dates and on the second date, I revealed waaaaay too much abot my divorce, how I went to therapy, and how I was taking antidepressants. Note to self: this isn't second date conversation regardless of how much vodka you've consumed. Luckily, I've learned to censor myself!!! He asked me out for a third date that night, but never called me again. Disappearing Act #1.

3. Another guy I dated was the super OPPOSITE of my ex. He was chivalrous. He was religious. He was a hard worker. He had dark thick hair (instead of highlghted balding hair!! ha ha!). He loved his family deeply and made time for them. He was insainly smart. He was conservative. He was thoughtful. He was the anti-ex husband. He was great. I dated him for six months. It was a wonderful time in my life and he really helped me heal. He helped me see I was "somebody" again. In my heart of hearts, I knew it wasn't going to be a serious, long-term relationship, but at the time, it just felt right and it was just exactly what I needed. I remember him fondly and he is going to be the best husband and father someday and whoever marries him will be a lucky gal!

4. The lull.................After the breakup w/ #3, I was on a lull, a drought, a hiatus (unintentional!), a get the picture....for about 4-5 months.

5. I met a guy at a bar with live music while out w/ some other single gals (who since has coupled up with fellas and I never hear from them.....ugh). I was just ordering drinks and it took forever and I just started talking to the guy next to me. After a few more drinks and talking, I ended up kissing him. Fast forward to making out like a 17-year old at a high school dance for the next 45 minutes with this guy. We must have looked ridiculous!!! We exchanged numbers. He called me. We went out. I realized this guy was, in fact, a great guy, but not a great guy for me. The girl from Saturday night was much more into him than the girl I was on a Thursday evening after work. I told him I was "just not ready to date yet" after the divorce......I figured it was the least harmful thing to say and actually, probably still pretty accurate because even though I wanted to fall in love, I was really feeling good about just focusing on me, especially after the six-month thing (See #3) had busted up and at this point, I knew it was a rebound and delayed some of my healing process--despite all of the healing it did for me as well.

More to come......

Monday, February 14, 2011

Hmmmm, Valentine's Day: How far I've come...

So, I know I usually post about home decor-related stuff, but my blog is about new beginnings in general, therefore, I'm taking a little writing liberty here and delving into the subject of dating.

Two years ago, on Valentine's Day, my exhusband and I went to my favorite restaurant in Providence. It was a big night out and we had been (well, I had been) trying to focus more on spending quality time together. We had a big discussion back on Superbowl Sunday (I think Feb 2 or something) about how although we'd been only married for 7 months, we had been living together for 3 years and not spending enough quality time together. I have NO idea how we got on the subject of honesty, but he even held my hand across the table when the subject of infidelity came up and said something along the lines of "I'd have to be so stupid to mess this up...why would I throw our life together away?" Meanwhile, he was having sex with some 24 year old floozy from Craigslist (who knew he was married) on the side!!!! Lord!  Our marriage broke up exactly ONE week later on Feb 21--that was the day I found his phone in our bed and the text messages from the Craigslist floozy. I left that night and never looked back....

Now, two years later, my life is just so different. Of course, at the core, I have the same job and same friends, and same family, but I'm just truly different. I feel like February 2009 was the month I became an adult. I was 28 at the time (one month from 29) and I look back and I see a naive kid. I girl who was all too willing to settle for the sake of this man. And, to be honest, I look back and wonder what was it that I loved about him so much? Who knows....the girl I am today is not the 24 year old girl that fell for him. The girl I am today is much more confident, self-assured, proud, and determined. Sure, I have moments when I hate being single and wonder just *when* I will feel that jolt of love again....but ultimately, I'm pretty satisfied with things overall.

So, what does Valentine's Day mean to me now? It's funny, I look back on that Valentine's Day with my ex and it wasn't anything too great. Sure, we had this decadent meal out and I had a good looking man sitting across the table from me, but in hindsight, I realize now that life was a lie.....tonight, I won't be having a fancy date, in fact, I have no date at all. I'll be going to teach my spin class at 5:45 like I do every Monday night and then I'm coming home to do some schoolwork, watch some shows on my DVR, and do some laundry. It will be a great night because it will be real and authentic.

I won't be looking back on this Valentine's Day thinking "Hmmmm, I wonder if he texted her on V-Day something like 'I wish I was you, not her...ugh'" or something else horrible like that! I will not be disappointed when he gives me a piece of heart jewelry (ugh, I HATE heart jewelry and he gave me heart jewelry about 2-3 times, who knows whY!), I won't be disappointed when he acts annoyed he ha to get me a card. I won't be disappointed in a man...(particularly that man!).....period!

I will look back and think: "I was with someone who'll never betray me: Myself."