Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Some tales from dating....

Over the last two single years, I've done a little dating (well, a lot...)

Here's how it's gone.....

1. The first actual date I went on after my breakup was just okay. The guy was nice and sweet, but not for me---mainly because he wasn't my exhusband. I cried the whole drive home, so much so that I could barely see the road. In hindsight, I should've pulled over.

2. I went out with another guy on two dates and on the second date, I revealed waaaaay too much abot my divorce, how I went to therapy, and how I was taking antidepressants. Note to self: this isn't second date conversation regardless of how much vodka you've consumed. Luckily, I've learned to censor myself!!! He asked me out for a third date that night, but never called me again. Disappearing Act #1.

3. Another guy I dated was the super OPPOSITE of my ex. He was chivalrous. He was religious. He was a hard worker. He had dark thick hair (instead of highlghted balding hair!! ha ha!). He loved his family deeply and made time for them. He was insainly smart. He was conservative. He was thoughtful. He was the anti-ex husband. He was great. I dated him for six months. It was a wonderful time in my life and he really helped me heal. He helped me see I was "somebody" again. In my heart of hearts, I knew it wasn't going to be a serious, long-term relationship, but at the time, it just felt right and it was just exactly what I needed. I remember him fondly and he is going to be the best husband and father someday and whoever marries him will be a lucky gal!

4. The lull.................After the breakup w/ #3, I was on a lull, a drought, a hiatus (unintentional!), a get the picture....for about 4-5 months.

5. I met a guy at a bar with live music while out w/ some other single gals (who since has coupled up with fellas and I never hear from them.....ugh). I was just ordering drinks and it took forever and I just started talking to the guy next to me. After a few more drinks and talking, I ended up kissing him. Fast forward to making out like a 17-year old at a high school dance for the next 45 minutes with this guy. We must have looked ridiculous!!! We exchanged numbers. He called me. We went out. I realized this guy was, in fact, a great guy, but not a great guy for me. The girl from Saturday night was much more into him than the girl I was on a Thursday evening after work. I told him I was "just not ready to date yet" after the divorce......I figured it was the least harmful thing to say and actually, probably still pretty accurate because even though I wanted to fall in love, I was really feeling good about just focusing on me, especially after the six-month thing (See #3) had busted up and at this point, I knew it was a rebound and delayed some of my healing process--despite all of the healing it did for me as well.

More to come......

1 comment:

  1. Dang. I really admire you for sharing these types of details. This has to be a very difficult time for you, but the fact that you're willing to share and be open about your experiences tells a lot about your personality! There's nothing wrong with taking some time for yourself. You've had a lot of huge changes in your life and time for adjustment is ok! You will recover.